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Ok, so I just spent 3 hours locked out of my house. I went to go and take the blueprints and permit application to city hall: packed baby, set the papers by the door, had my list of other errands I needed to do, fixed the alarm system (it was blinking again, stupid thing), double checked all the doors and windows (locked!), checked the cell phone (charged!), and left. I took two steps before I realized:
#1 - The paperwork I needed was on the other side of the door.
#2 - So were my keys.
I set about trying to call someone with a spare set, when I realized:
#1 - My phone isn't working properly
#2 - My mother is at work (not near spares), and Kat is in possession of the set that lives with a neighbour.
So I tried to break in to my house. I am not Macguyver, and failed. Decided to sit and wait it out until Gooberhead got home from school, and realized:
#1 - I have no reading material with me
#2 (perhaps worst of all) - My sock in progress is with the paperwork and my keys.
Today is a write off. I am not responsible for anything that does or does not happen today. You've been warned.feels like:  annoyed |
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After watching X-Men 2 again, I was reminded of this wonderful, intelligent list.
( 231 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord )feels like:  evil |
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Oh my lord... Ok, so for this to be funny at all, or at least as funny as I found it, you need a quick lesson in working in the Walmart shoe department.
You know those little hanging signs we have about the store? Well, I now know how to make them. You go on the computer in the back and enter a bunch of official sounding crap, then type out a brief description of the shoe, it's name, and print it out.
The description usually contains the brand name, the material, the shortened version of the type of shoe (eg., "thong" instead of "flip flop"), the category (men, women, kids, etc) or some other identifying features. Whatever fills the space. It automatically prints everything out in capitals.
So, I was doing some of those signs in the boys' section, when the funniest combination I can imagine came up:
BOYS LEATHER BUM THONG
It really speaks for itself. I was tempted to put that out there, but I shortened it to BOYS LEATHER THONG, which is slightly less funny, but funny all the same.feels like:  amused |
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degenecle's journal