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I love that so many of you dudes are doing NaNo! It fills my heart with glee and happy. NaNoWriMo is a Super Important Monster to me, in that if I'd never done it that first year, I probably would have never written anything ever again my entire life.
As a kid I was always like, "I'm gonna be a writer when I grow up!" But I never knew what to write about. Then as I got older and became a cynical teenager, I was like, "Pah, this writing thing will never pan out because I suck at finishing things and also I still don't know what to write about. I think I'll become a rock star instead."
Of course the rock star thing fell through, as things like that often do. I graduated high school neither a rock star nor a writer. But then that November, a friend of mine posted to her LJ, "I don't think I'm going to do NaNoWriMo this year," and it was October 31st and I clicked on the link because I was all, "What is this NaNoWriMo business?" and I read the entire contents of the site (which at that point were not as massive, as NaNo was only in its third year), and I was like, "I will do this even though I will FAIL EPICALLY" and the thing is, I didn't fail epically. I actually COMPLETED a novel.
And then I tried it the next year. And the year after that. And, okay, I failed those two years, but then I KEPT DOING IT and I haven't failed since, and then I started realizing that I didn't have to only write in November, there were eleven other perfectly valid months in the year for writing.
And that's how I've ended up with eight rough drafts, a handful of drafts in progress and a parody of the entire Twilight series, and I still don't know what to write about, but NaNoWriMo taught me that doesn't matter as long as I can write it really fast.
The point of this story is I've got the writing thing down. I think the next step is learning that whole "revision" thing.
HAPPY NANO, EVERYBODY! KEEP ON KEEPING ON AND POST YOUR WORD COUNTS AND HEY, WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE, WHY NOT CHALLENGE EACH OTHER TO SOME WORD WARS? AND THROW OUT SOME DARES? I LOVE YOU GUYS.
PS: Oh yeah, I totally forgot that the whole reason I started making this post was to mention that I'm kandigurl on the NaNo site (as well as on LJ!) if you want to be my writing buddy. |
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Nov. 8th, 2009 @ 11:14 am
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So I'm starting the process of packing up my place. Fuck I hate packing. I really just loath it with every cell in my body. I'm putting everything that I'm selling in the garage sale in boxes. What isn't sold, goes straight to the food bank, or the Sally Ann. Work has been decent. This past week zoomed by. The biggest challenge I have at work at the moment is my work space. My other co-workers have clearly defined work spaces. I don't. My desk kisses the participant desk, where when people come in, they walk straight to my area. The pick up my phone, they put their shit on my desk, they ask me questions while on the participant computer. If one person is in the office, no big deal. But when there are five participants in the office, who all hover around my desk, I feel claustrophobic. Never mind some of the male participants who have a chip on their shoulders, because I am female. They are hostile, because I'm an assertive female, who asks them to leave when they are drunk and disrespect my space. I'm thinking, just 3.5 more months, and then I'll be done. I've already started to tell participants that I'm leaving. They have all been sad, and tell me that they will miss me very much. My mind is starting to play tricks on me. I'm already jumping a head to 15 months down the road, and the game of 'what if...', what if I want to stay longer in South Korea? What if I get back and C has found someone else? What if I'm not ready to settle down when I get back. These what if's are causing me concern. I know that I have very little power over an event, that I have not experienced in this realm, but dammit! What If?
My mother is driving me nuts. She and I don't have the best relationship, and I know it hurts her, but for fuck sakes, don't call me everyday, I don't want to talk to you. Most times she calls me, is to tell me news that she did, in the previous phone call, but she has forgotten. I know, it's my decision to pick up the phone, but I feel like an asshole for having to screen my calls from my mother. I know she's worried about her surgery, but give me some breathing room.
Yesterday, I had a flashback. It wasn't very nice. I went for a very long walk. By the time I got home, I was able to find some possible solutions to what's going on. I think I'm really feeling the effects of winter time. I do struggle with the lack of sunlight. I'm going to go and talk with my doctor about getting Vitamin B & D injections. I need to be pro-active, rather than re-active to my struggles. I'm glad that I did go for my walk. I've been going for walks every day for the past 8 days. I have lost my running endurance, which I'm disappointed with, but I know if I want to I can get it back, if I work hard. I'm going to monopolize all the nice non-snow days, to walk outside, and then when the sky opens up and lays a layer of snow, I'm heading in-doors to the gym.
I'm feeling good about purging stuff from my place. Sometimes I feel like, holy shit, I'm moving, from a place that was my home for the past 4 years. And then after that I'm moving overseas. I'm looking forward to the adventure. I renewed my passport, am filling out the paperwork that I need to do to get my visa. I am remaining budget conscious to what I'm able to do, such as get a criminal record check, and then get it notarized etc.... Currier fees etc... I hope to have all of that done by January-ish. But at the end of January, I'm heading to Vegas for a week. That should be a blast. I'm really looking forward to spending that time with C. My feelings for him have grown and changed. I am unable to imagine him not in my life, at this moment, that when I think to me choosing to move overseas, it hurts my heart to think of my leaving him. It will be very hard. I am someone who is not settled, and I truely feel that I need to have this adventure, so that I am able to move on with my life. If that involves C in my life, I hope so, but if it doesn't, that is something that I really don't want to think about at this moment.
My car didn't start yesterday. My battery is dying. C is going to talk me through, over the phone, on how to clean my battery knobby things (extremely technical term).
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.
K |
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All of the Remembrance ceremonies are on television today even though the day itself (obviously) is not for a few days. I missed them as I's had about 3 hours of sleep before getting up for work at 5:30 yesterday (I hate it when I can't put a book down), running back home for a nosh and taking my bass to the Spa for a STUPIDLY LONG rehearsal, heading back home for something to eat and then into my blacks and for our symphony concert.
God bless the cliff lifts. I wouldn't have been able to manage without them. Julie came home an hour early from work just so she could have a few minutes with me before my concert. :) She couldn't be there for the whole thing, so she came for the last bit of the Dvorak and took me home.
The concert itself went really well. I'm still not particularly confident in my playing. I hadn't played for a year since picking it back up, but I've been assured that I'm doing well for now. I'll never play as well as I once did unless I go back to that level of dedication, and I can't do that right now. Maybe someday, but not for some time. At least not until I get my own instrument back.
Our dress rehearsal was absolutely awful. Just ghastly. Nobody knew what they were doing, including myself. I think we were drawn in by that particular magic of the dress rehearsal that seems dark and sinister until you realise that your last chance to fuck up combined with a screaming director and a chance to regain your immunity to the heat of stage lighting is going to do you some serious good in the performance. You know what I mean. A bad dress rehearsal always results in a great performance because you get all the uglies out in the rehearsal and it makes you desperately want a good show, which you get, of course, because you're desperate for it.
Anyway, totally tiring day. I love my jobs, though, and I love the symphony. I love my wife, who is in the kitchen making a bread dough volcano and having fun making a mess. I even love my dog, although she's a hairy, hyperactive beast who uses her bed as a sex slave in front of company. She was spayed too soon. I think she needs puppies. Julie and I have promised her that when we have a house we'll get her a puppy to carry and sit on and love.
Shoe shopping tomorrow... I work at the tea rooms on Tuesday and it doesn't matter what pair of my black shoes I wear, as none are appropriate for there. I could use a pair of pretty black Mary Jane flats anyhow, as someone at work is going to notice sooner or later that blue Chuck Taylors are not regulation uniform. :)
That entry was a whole load of nothing, but I thought I'd at least share my excitement about the concert. Time to feed and walk the animal.sounds like: War documentaries on the telly |
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Nov. 3rd, 2009 @ 05:29 pm
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I'm sad right now. I found out, through the radio, that the latest murder victim was a participant of mine. He was such a nice guy, not an aggressive bone in his body. He would come to me and share the most personal things in his life with me; his addictions, his broken heart, how he wanted things to change. I was definitely a support in his life. Last time I talked to him, he had gotten himself to detox (which, both he and I worked really hard to get him there) and things were going really well for him. I'm going to miss him. I'm glad that his darkness is finally over.
K |
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Hello to all,
Yes, as you can deduce from my subject heading, I have been experiencing drama at work. Specific to one of the senior staff members. Not my supervisor, but the person who is in charge of paying me my salary, making sure that my deductions are correct etc...
This person is extremely passive-aggressive. She says she is intimidated by me, because "K is such an assertive person". Interesting. I missed 7 days of work due to Mother Nature trying to kill me, and had not filled out my excel staff time sheet. My assistant manager asked me to fill it out today for the month of October. Not a problem. I started to fill it out, and realized that the person who is intimidated by me, well call her "A", still had my time sheet at me working 4 days a week. I began to look at little closer, and realized that she had me collecting my sick days, and my holiday time wrong. The way they have it set up at work is that you collect your holiday time every month, rather than get all of your time at once after a year. Anyway, I went back 6 months in my time sheet and there was not a single month that had all the information correct. I really got frustrated and pissed off. My supervisor suggested I take it to my assistant manager, I did, she didn't look impressed. Also, apparently "A" sent out an email stating how she won't put up with being treated in a specific way, and then sent another one apologizing for the first email. I haven't been able to find this email in my work account. My co-workers showed me the email they got from her, and it was sent to me. So I'm curious to see if "A" went into my email account and deleted her emails.
I'm telling myself, just 4 more months, you can hang in there.
My exciting weekend. Well, C came up and we went to Peak A Boo by the Rosebud Burlesque Group. It was a lot of fun, and I purposely dressed up, so that I would look smoking hot for C. On Saturday, my friend brought over her little one, and her little one is the prettiest 10 month old whose name starts with 'H' that I've ever seen. Then C&I drove down and took C, his daughter, niece, nephew, and two other kids, and with three other adults, we went trick-or-treating for 2 hours. Then C and I went to friends of ours. He told me that we were going to Rocky Horror, and that I was to get ready. The friends of ours are quite into the kink scene, he's into sci fi, D/s, BDSM etc... and she's into nudity, bondage, having adventure etc... SO she, J, and I got ready downstairs. S had corsets, stockings, lingerie, and a whole bunch more. I, in trying to figure out an outfit, decided upon my black bra, black lace panties on top of my pink panties, a red garter belt, that held up black stockings. I also had a red feather boa! I totally did up my hair and make up in the smoking-hot-I-don't-give-a-damn look. I also had three inch heel boots. When we went upstairs, C's mouth hung open and he totally was giving me the hungry eyes stare. We got our rice, cards, toast, water guns, and news paper ready. We piled into a vehicle and went to the theater. If it were not the 31st, I would have been arrested for what I was wearing in public. S wore a black corset, black lace panties, and black knee high stockings, with black heels. J wore a black bra, a black boob-less corset, and black leggings. The three of us looked pretty fantastic.
We walked into the theater, me being 6'1 in heels, towered over lots of people. Everyone stared at us, and then the comments of "good for you" "I wish I had your courage", came out. I didn't hear any derogatory comments. One drunk girl asked if she could grab my ass, I said she could, then she tried to feel me up, and I said that I didn't want that. She told me that she wanted to "lay me down on the ground and have her way with me" in the I'm-so-drunk-I'm-not-too-clear-on-what-I'm-saying sort of way. I say no thanks, and went and snogged with C in front of her. Rocky Horror was a lot of fun. Not many people in the crowd knew what to say. I kinda was the one leading the pack. I got up and danced, threw rice, toast, and sprayed water around. Yelled "Slut" and "Asshole" when appropriate, as well as all the other lovely things we do at RH. C had a lot of fun, and is planning for the next time we can do it together.
Aside from that, there some other stuff going on, but I'll get to that in a later post.
Have a good one.
K |
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Today.
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Nov. 2nd, 2009 @ 08:28 am
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Who's participating?
Word counts? |
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I've never done Nanorimo before, but it might be a good way to get my writing volume up.
Poll #1479454 Nanorimo
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 19Should I attempt a Garak/Bashir fanfic nanorimo? feels like:  sleepy |
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- anything on my ThinkGeek wish list.
- anything on my Amazon wish list.
- a slow cooker - at least 4 quarts.
- A laptop or netbook.
will update more later... |
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I was cleaning out my inbox and found the last messages Bianca and I shared. It was some stupid Internet snark between someone else that ended in her deleting me off Facebook. I thought people should turn down their headphones on the bus. She disagreed. It was only a few months ago. She never did add me back. I can't believe how stupid it was. For our years of friendship, that our last words would be some bullshit about crappy music kills me. It seems fitting, but it still sucks so much.
I've been getting sympathy by the boatload from people we went to school with. We both knew a lot of people, but she was my best friend and I was hers. We hung out every weekend. We were constantly at each others' houses. Our classmates don't know we had a falling out, as we didn't really act like it. She moved to Regina, that was it.
ABCDEFGHIJK ... Hopefully on Thursday afternoon I will be going to see CoS with Bianca. We've been exchanging e-mails all weekend, and ... wow. I'm in shock. I'm speechless. I'm ... I'm going to the cinema with a new person. This is so sad of me, to be this thrilled. My head still isn't really working correctly. I'm still not willing to believe it. Its strange.
Last thing she wrote was 'See you tomorrow!'. This is most terrifying. Butterflies are threatening to rip out my intestine. The idea of going to school and talking to someone I've only really spoken with online is .. eeek. Especially since I won't know where to meet her, or anything. I'm rambling and need to shut up.
08 December 2002
I feel like barfing. So often in my LJ I've referred to her as my best friend. Quoted times when we called each other best friend. I think I'm going to be sad for quite some time.feels like:  sad |
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cute:
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Oct. 29th, 2009 @ 12:21 am
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You know how most times you're in retail and you're working for punkass dickhead managers who are barely out of high school (chronologically) and barely out of diapers (psychologically)?
You know how the work is tedious, the pay is barely worth getting out of bed, the music sucks and you hate what you're selling (and would be ashamed to have it in your home/on your body/served to company)?
You know how you waste twice your body weight in renewable packing material every few hours just because there's no proper disposal system, no salvage allowed and you could weep for all the thousands of dollars of wasted food and resources that could go to not just the staff, but anyone who needed it?
You know how bad the staff morale can get, and it's evident in the way people are continually late, nobody likes each other, nothing gets done and the effort to at least wash in the morning is hardly justifiable to most (or maybe it's because most of your coworkers just don't believe in it, which is almost a job prerequisite in some places.)
Marks ain't like that. Marks is good. I like Marks. I just wish they'd give me more hours.sounds like: Moi je joue - Brigitte Bardot (on wash, rinse, repeat and fabulous) |
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if you haven't voted yet, go do so NOW.
the polls are open until 8pm.
for info on where to vote, candidate profiles, etc, click here. |
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) lufavain died today in Regina. Something about a collapsed lung after having been in a coma. I don't know a damn thing about it, only that I want to send some condolences to her mother so badly, but she lives in PEI. I don't know anything about a funeral, if she'll be sent to PEI with her mum and siblings, if she'll be buried here, or in Regina, whatever. Will the funeral be in Regina? Nothing. Her dad's ashes are here but her Mum and siblings moved back east and Bianca stayed in Saskatchewan. All I know is that a mutual friend confirmed that she died at 3:20 this afternoon, and that's that. I'm hoping to see Sheldon tomorrow.
Bianca and I had a major falling-out a few years ago. She said some pretty horrible things to me, but now she's dead, and I have no idea what to think or do. She was my first and best friend all through high school, and meeting her became the only reason I didn't transfer away from Holy Cross.
I cried for a moment and now I feel sicker than ever. Like, wtf does a person do when someone they were BFF with dies, but not before one broke the other's heart? I don't want to get up tomorrow.feels like: morose |
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Someone linked to this video and I thought I ought to share. :0) Contains strong language, so not safe for work.
( The the impotence of proofreading, by Taylor Mali )feels like:  amused |
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