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Attention Public Service Workers: You Do Some Awesome Things Jul. 10th, 2009 @ 01:37 pm
Every public servant I've dealt with today has been helpful, pleasant, understanding, and VERY accomadating.

Just thought the world should know. Civil servants do some underappreciated work, but today I'm appreciating. Give positive reinforcement when your local civil servants do some awesome shit for you, and let their bosses know.

*cue "The More You Know" star*
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Lazy quiz for a lazy day Jun. 20th, 2009 @ 04:38 pm
1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No.

2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and asks. -- and believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming as nothing is exactly as it seems.

Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? --- yes
Been arrested? --- no
Kissed someone you didn't like? --- yes
Slept in until 5 PM? --- yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? --- yes
Held a snake? --- yes
Ran a red light? --- no
Experienced love at first sight? --- yes
Totaled your car in an accident? --- no
Been fired from a job? --- no
Fired somebody? --- yes
Sang karaoke? --- no
Pointed a gun at someone? --- no
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --- yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? --- yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? --- yes
Kissed in the rain? --- yes
Had a close brush with death (your own)? --- yes
Seen someone die? --- no
Played spin-the-bottle? --- no
Sang in the shower? --- yes
Smoked a cigar? --- yes
Sat on a rooftop? --- no
Taken pictures of yourself naked? --- yes
Smuggled something into another country? --- no
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? --- no
Broken a bone? --- no
Skipped school? --- yes
Eaten a bug? --- yes
Sleepwalked? --- yes
Walked a moonlit beach? --- yes
Rode a motorcycle? --- no
Dumped someone? --- yes
Forgotten your anniversary? --- yes
Lied to avoid a ticket? --- no
Ridden on a helicopter? --- no
Shaved your head? --- no
Blacked out from drinking? --- no
Played a prank on someone? --- yes
Hit a home run? -- yes
Felt like killing someone? --- yes
Cross-dressed? --- yes
Been falling-down drunk? --- yes
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? --- yes
Eaten snake? --- no
Marched/Protested?--- yes
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? --- no
Puked on amusement ride? --- yes
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- yes
Been in a band? --- yes
Knitted? --- yes
Been on TV? --- no
Shot a gun? --- no
Skinny-dipped? --- yes
Gave someone stitches? --- no
Eaten a whole habanero pepper? --- no
Ridden a surfboard? --- no
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? --- yes
Had surgery? --- yes
Streaked? --- no
Taken by ambulance to hospital? --- no
Peed on a bush? --- yes
Donated Blood? --- yes
Grabbed electric fence? --- no
Eaten alligator meat? --- no
Eaten cheesecake? --- yes
Eaten your kids' Halloween candy? --- yes
Killed an animal when not hunting? --- yes
Peed your pants in public? --- yes
Snuck into a movie without paying? --- no
Written graffiti? --- yes
Still love someone you shouldn't? --- yes
Think about the future? --- yes
Been in handcuffs? --- yes
Believe in love? --- yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? --- yes
feels like: bored
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Macguyer, I am not. Jun. 18th, 2009 @ 03:43 pm
Ok, so I just spent 3 hours locked out of my house. I went to go and take the blueprints and permit application to city hall: packed baby, set the papers by the door, had my list of other errands I needed to do, fixed the alarm system (it was blinking again, stupid thing), double checked all the doors and windows (locked!), checked the cell phone (charged!), and left. I took two steps before I realized:

#1 - The paperwork I needed was on the other side of the door.
#2 - So were my keys.

I set about trying to call someone with a spare set, when I realized:

#1 - My phone isn't working properly
#2 - My mother is at work (not near spares), and Kat is in possession of the set that lives with a neighbour.

So I tried to break in to my house. I am not Macguyver, and failed. Decided to sit and wait it out until Gooberhead got home from school, and realized:

#1 - I have no reading material with me
#2 (perhaps worst of all) - My sock in progress is with the paperwork and my keys.

Today is a write off. I am not responsible for anything that does or does not happen today. You've been warned.
feels like: annoyed

Things I Am NOT Allowed To Do Jun. 16th, 2009 @ 12:15 pm
Hookey-doke. Teeny backstory goes here: I was having an anxiety attack on Sunday night. I was super sick yesterday as a result. My tummy still hurts (awww). Meditation is helping, medication is hindering (pukeyness), but what I really need is a whole lot of happy and to avoid the bad.

So. After yesterday, these are things that I am NOT allowed to do. EVER.

#1 - Check Auto's email. No. No no no no no. I knew this before, and I have his password for legitimate reasons, but checking his email is BAD. Even if I don't read them. NO. Also, does not improve stress levels. I will only check for those legitimate reasons with express permission EVERY SINGLE TIME, even if it drives him insane with repetitiveness. (Is that a word? I'm thinking not. EDIT: Just checked. It is.)

#2 - Read Ravelry Rubberneckers forum. I just can't. It's slowly killing me with teh dramaz. Is funny dramaz, but dramaz is owie.

#3 - Sit politely with people whose situations and choices are making me want to assplode. I cannot pretend that I don't care. I'm sorry. I will, from now on, get up and leave the room with the explanation, "Your situation is beginning to affect me personally. I have to leave now."

#4 - Read more than one article a day that infuriates me. I will care about one thing that I cannot do a damn thing about PER DAY. NO MORE THAN THAT.

#5 - Read celebrity gossip. It's lame, and no matter what angle I try to use to defend it, it REMAINS lame.

#6 - Leave the computer on while having a panic attack. No good will come of this.

#7 - Read anything written by or concerning Mark Steyn.

Things I Am NOT Allowed To Do While Having An Anxiety/Panic Attack. EVER.

#1 - Go on the internet. This is addressed in #6 above, and partially in #1 above, but bears restating. No.

#2 - Try to solve any problems that do not affect my/my kids' immediate needs. Immediate needs include, and ARE LIMITED TO: food, clean water, minimum maintenance of shelter (not renos), administering of medication, seeing a doctor, and cuddles. Anything happening tomorrow or later is not included.

#3 - See anyone who may contribute to the stress. This includes social vampires whom I am obligated to interact with on other occasions. Hopefully this will preclude the need for acting on #3 above.

I am printing off this list.
feels like: anxious

The Morning after? Jun. 14th, 2009 @ 08:50 pm
I was asked an interesting question today, one to which I've never given much thought. It's been asked and debated a billion times (at least), but I've never really cared enough to follow it.

Who, exactly, is responsible for the initial "morning after" phone call? And when should this phone call take place? I find myself stumped. Let's assume that the encounter was a successful one. What should the tone be? "I had a wonderful time"? "Thanks for the awesome sex, I owe you one"? "WHEN CAN WE DO THIS AGAIN, OMG, YOU  ARE AMAZING!!1!!"?

I'm thinking that the third option is not a good one. A little desperate. However, the other options listed also fall short of desirable. #1 sounds like you just spend the weekend at your own Grandma's. #2, well, I can only see this being said with a wink and a finger snap, which seems trite and lame and executed by Leisure Suit Larry. (bonus points if you know who Leisure Suit Larry is.)

Comments? Thoughts?
feels like: contemplative

I should just accept my fate. Jun. 13th, 2009 @ 01:33 am
I am the chosen one. I am... The Wingman. Others do not dare to be so invisible, so unitimidating, so "friend"ly. I will not steal your spotlight - I will shine it on you. I will make you laugh, make you rejoice, make you spill your innermost secrets. But not make out with you.

I will give you your ego-boost, and you will walk away flattered. When you do not need me... I'm like the wind.

I'm the gay bar NPC. The Wingman enters undetected, holds your purse and watchs your drink, and retreats without a sound. Ok, so I make a sound. I make a loud, "I'M GOING NOW, BYE" sound. But such is my power, that you don't notice. The Wingman is the ultimate matchmaker. The Wingman is the catalyst that sparks your conquest. You don't see me, you don't notice me, but when I'm gone... you don't look quite so good by yourself.

The Wingman's only fear is that someday, his faithful companion HotStuff will discover his true power, and leave Wingman to the swirling dust. But never forget - the Wingman never truly dies. He awaits to rise again from the ashes, for the next potential HotStuff who stops by his way.
feels like: depressed

WWKIP Jun. 11th, 2009 @ 10:16 am
World Wide Knit in Public Day!

“In answer to a lot of your questions, we are going to do a WWKIP. There hasn’t been a lot of time to organize it for lack of volunteers so it will be quite simple…we are knitting in Bessborough Park by the bandshell just like last year. Crocheters welcome as well. There are two weekends for us to choose from this year as WWKIP is transitioning to the later date to avoid conflict with other events. We are going to hold ours on June 20th. Bring your lawnchairs, knitting, crocheting, smiles, good humour, umbrellas, and your own refreshments. To take place 2:00pm to 5:00pm. Hope to see you there!” - melistress

Have also been advised to knit while parading for Pride.
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Daddy's Day Jun. 10th, 2009 @ 10:41 am
Ah, Father's Day. The holiday that assumes all dudes want golf supplies, a bbq, or power tools. Ok, so I would totally want power tools. But you know what would be better?

A nice set of 2mm DPN sock needles, and some wicked awesome self-striping sock yarn, and time to knit with them. Also, no chores for a day.

My current needles are laquered aluminium, and the laquer is rubbing off. Makes for annoying. On the upside, the second of my new socks have been cast on, and we have reached the heel flap! I repeat, we have reached heel flap!

Something awesome: the way I knit is apparently called, "lever knitting". Did not know this.



Thanks for the vid, Bonnie.

Precious Moments giveaway! Jun. 7th, 2009 @ 12:10 am
I seriously hope I win! Everyone, cross your fingers for me!



P.S. Heh. In typing the html for that link, I typoed "omg src" instead of "img src". I have sourced OMG!

SCRAMBLES! Jun. 5th, 2009 @ 11:07 am
We have approval from appraiser-guy! We can now proceed with plans!

Meeting contractor-guy #2 at 1 for quoting, and basement-guy at 4 for reviewing drawings and signing contract. Might need to call drafting-people to set up appointment for proper blueprints, 'cause I think Kat might assplode if she has to redo the drafts she's done. Tonight, I have to finish prepping the upstairs for storage. Tomorrow, I have contractor-guy #4 at 9, contractor-guy #3 at 10, basement demolition at 12.

We need not install new furnace or water-heater. Appraiser-guy assured us that while not TOP of the line, they are well within the realms of good.

Once we have date with basement-guy locked, we can start to booking plumber-people and other contractor-types.

But I need to get our permit application into the city, like, yesterday.
feels like: stressed

One down. Jun. 4th, 2009 @ 09:22 am
Appraiser-guy just left. Was heartily embarassed to find cats had pooped in the basement AGAIN. Difficult to show a guy that you need money to improve your house when you can't even keep the cat poop off the ground as it is.

Couldn't read him re: getting our loan. Seemed rather not impressed, but maybe was just stoic. I'm going to go with that. Seemed a bit put off by the idea that we can fit 4 bedrooms and a family room downstairs. Showed him the sketches Kat and I did last night, each bedroom is approx. 9'x9'. Asked why we needed so many bedrooms. Told him we wanted to have a larger family. He smiled at that, so I'm hoping that was good answer.

Now to wait for the first of the carpenter-guys.
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House made of woecakes. Jun. 3rd, 2009 @ 03:38 pm
Holy crap, I need to be a millionaire to get any type of work done on my house. For if I had a million dollars, I could afford to hire a general contractor who would then coordinate all this crap for me. Also, I wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner. Though I would eat Kraft Dinner - I'd just eat more. With fancy Dijon ketchup.

Finally broke free of the latest bureaucratic loop (you need A to apply for B, you need B to get a quote for C, you need a quote for C to finalize A) with some good, old-fashioned begging and pleading. Now I need to try and wrangle three different contractors into completing this project in the needed order.

Currently awaiting a phone call from the Scotiabank appraiser-guy to find out if we can get the amount of money we need. Banking-lady assures me that we will get the money in some way. I hope to gods she is right. If nothing goes kablooey, we should be signing our life away tomorrow at 4pm, and can then bring our 10% down to lock in a date with the Basement-guy. Once I have a date locked in, I can schedule the contractor and plumber around that.

Tonight, I need to go to Gregg's Plumbing & Heating to price out furnaces and water-heaters. Oh! Kat's home. Time to go.
feels like: busy
Tags:

...bitch. May. 13th, 2009 @ 03:35 pm
wow, paperwork is fun. I'm strange, and usually enjoy the mundaneness of the "fill-in-this-blank" forms, but I got all riled up when I tried to fill out my Universal Child Care Benefit (UCCB). Get this - I need a permission form from my wife to receive this benefit. Yep. If you are the primary caregiver, and you are a dude and have a wife (shockingly, nothing is said about same-sex couples), your wife needs to write a note explaining your situation and sign it. It's right there on the first page of info
For Canada Child Tax Benefit purposes, there is a presumption that when both a male and a female parent live in the same home as the child, the female parent is considered to be primarily responsible [emphasis in original] for the child and should apply. However, if the male parent is primarily responsible, he can apply if a signed note from the female parent is attached to the application which states that the male parent is primarily responsible for the child(ren).


What is the purpose of THAT? Really? Why do they bother with an extra hurdle for dudes? Though this DOES explain why we were dinged with double-claiming Goober a few years back. I filed her under me, and not under Kat. There was no signed note. They filed her under Kat.

One of these days Im going to kick Steve square in the nuts.

I'm going to go back to my 'secondary' parenting duties and feed my kid.
feels like: pissed off

Pertinent quotes. Apr. 6th, 2009 @ 03:18 pm
Rereading The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, came across the story of the ill-fated Frogstar B world:


Many years ago, this was a thriving, happy planet - people, cities, shops, a normal world. Except that on the high streets of these cities there were slightly more shoe shops than one might have thought necessary. And slowly, insidiously, the numbers of these shoe shops were increasing. It's a well-known economic phenomenon but tragic to see it in operation, for the more shoe shops there were, the more shoes they had to make and the worse and more unwearable they became. And the worse they were to wear, the more people had to buy to keep themselves shod, and the more the shops proliferated, until the whole economy of the place passed what I believe is termed the Shoe Event Horizon, and it became no longer economically possible to build anything other than shoe shops. Result - collapse, ruin, famine.

-Gargravarr, Custodian of the Total Perspective Vortex, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (Douglas Adams)

Replace "shoe shops" with "car dealerships".

Who's having an emo night? Jan. 23rd, 2009 @ 10:28 pm
Fuck, tonight I really need Sarah and Chelle here. go drink, listen to the beatles, and bitch.

Help! )
Eleanor Rigby )
Yesterday )
Let it Be )
feels like: morose

thanks, yarn_grrl Jan. 22nd, 2009 @ 04:07 pm
My Political Views
I am a left moderate social libertarian
Left: 6.55, Libertarian: 3.26

Political Spectrum Quiz

My Foreign Policy Views
Score: -7.36

Political Spectrum Quiz

My Culture War Stance
Score: -7.06

Political Spectrum Quiz


Hmm... interesting. The average appears to be a little bit left-leaning and libertarian than central. I wonder what exactly that says about internet-users, blog-users, and quiz-takers.

new year's knitting meme Jan. 14th, 2009 @ 10:40 am
The Top Five for 2008
1. New technique: Spit-splicing. Seriously. Awesome.

2. Favorite FO: Baby Boy's cluster-ribbed cardi. Must bring to group next time and show it off.

3. Favorite KAL: Sadly, I don't participate in KAL's. Yet.

4. Favorite LYS: Prairie Lily! Went there for the first time in... November? I think? Just under the wire for 2008, anyway.

5. Favorite tool: Still gotta be my darning needle, for my favourite of techniques, grafting.

Six Goals for 2009
1. Finish all current projects on the needles/hooks: Hurry Up Spring, Goober's acrylic Latvian poncho/armwarmers, thrummed mitts, granny-square afghan for living room, Kat' s fishnet shirt, my slippers, wool soaker (finishing) and my teal/brown sweater vest (also finishing). Also, I want some new sweater vests. And pass off the bathroom baskets to Kat.

2. Be able to afford non-acrylic yarn.

3. Socks.

4. Find some way of making manly lace.

5. Learn to spin.

6. Patterned socks.
feels like: accomplished

I tried! Jan. 14th, 2009 @ 09:12 am
I am known (to those who know me, obviously) as one who is unable to follow a pattern as directed. Be it knitting, sewing, cooking, woodwork, whatever, I have to alter crap.

This time was different. This time, I actually TRIED to follow the pattern EXACTLY. I even hunted down and found the discontinued shade of Noro Kureyon. I wanted to have the armwarmers as they were pictured. I attempted the "Hurry Up Spring" armwarmers from Stitch N' Bitch Nation.

I even swatched. And swatched. The pattern calls for 4.5 mm DPNs, and I have every size from 2 mm to 6 mm, so I figured I was good to go. Um, yeah. The closest I could get to gauge was to use my 6 mm. Still a little bit small. However, my next size up is 13 mm, so I'm not going to be stupid. I'm going to use my 6's. (Think it's a sign that I knit a bit tightly?)

I cast on. All is good. But looking at the pictures, it seems as though there should be less green going on. Hmm. Double check the yarn colours, double check the chart, double check the picture, and yep - Turns out there are three shades of green (not ONE) in the yarn before you get to the teal and burgundy. And according to the chart, I should be finished with the burgundy by row 30 (where I'm supposed to start the thumb gussets). Yeah. I'm now at row 40, and I've just begun the burgundy. I'm going to complete all 50 rows of the NON-REPEATING chart before I reach the red-orange that is supposed to be the thumbs.

Plus side to the magic of fudging the charts? The armwarmers will be actual ARMwarmers, not wristwarmers as pictured. Is it just me, or are all SnB patterns just too damned short?
feels like: amused

grr. Jan. 6th, 2009 @ 02:28 pm
Kat is never allowed to question my knitting and yarn expenses ever again.

Why? Our car is being repaired. Good news? No fire under the hood! Crap lining to the silver cloud? THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN COVERED BY WARRANTY.

What IS wrong with the car, you ask? Only normal wear-and-tear, including, but not limited to:
- ball joints
- brake pads
- tires
- something else that I didn't hear because I was too busy laughing to avoid crying.

NONE of the above being covered by warranty. Granted, we brought this on ourselves. We pauid off the car, and the car got a little annoyed by our constant happy dances.

But on to other things! Things that are not costing me hundreds of dollars.

Baby has been introduced to the Jolly Jumper. Baby LURVES Jolly Jumper. Baby bounces in that thing for an HOUR. An HOUR in which I can do CHORES.

I have one commission underway, and two lined up. One will be for barter. Seriously looking forward to some massages here.

Bit of a falling-down on etsy/ebay today. I blame helping Danielle research yarns.

Restarted Horde Hat again. Yarns were twisting funny when I was trying to do the two layers at once. Will have to do it the long and hard (heh) way. May result in slightly helmet-like hat. Contemplating adding horns. Would totally do it if this was not a commission.

My hands are returning to flesh colour. The peeling has stopped. I've decided I need to trade in my body for one that works. This cold is only galvanizing my decision.

Baby awoke. Jolly Jumper AHOY!
feels like: aggravated

I give up. Dec. 3rd, 2008 @ 06:04 pm
Ok, I get it. I now know why people are so convinced that I'm gay.

Let's leave the fey voice and mannerisms aside, shall we?

I knit. I talk about it. I attend a knit group. I actively pursue a knitting hobby. And, after some searching online, it seems that though straight men might indeed knit, they don't talk about it. Every single male knitter blog I found - the dude was gay. There is something fantastically disappointing in that.

*headdesk* Seriously. One million points will be awarded to the first person who can direct me to a knitting blog written by a dude who is not gay. Bonus points if the dude in question is Canadian.

EDIT: I have found one straight male knitting blog. yarn boy.
I feel a little bit better.
feels like: disappointed
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